i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
