yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I believe in your delicious
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
