I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
