He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
