you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
