soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
