so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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