Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
