is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
