i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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