I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
my liver is dry heaving
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
