You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
