I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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