Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
