i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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