Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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