Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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