Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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