he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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