Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
