I think im going to throw up on grandma
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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