i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
