i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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