i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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