dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
