so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So much Jack, so little girl.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
