When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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