I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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