why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
