nut hugger
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
