you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
