So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just high enough for therapy.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
