so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
