We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
