You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
