i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
