Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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