So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
