Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
