he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
