sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
