so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
