He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
