Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
