dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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