Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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