butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
