Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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