your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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