There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
A+ Viking dick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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