She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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