Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
